Yesterday’s post was meaningful to me because it was a description of an experience of being present. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder robs you of the present moment because you are constantly living in the past or planning for the future. In the moment described in yesterday’s post I was simply and fully in the present, observing what was happening around me and feeling the emotions going on inside me. As it was happening I was aware of the gift and, later, I was pleased to be able to write about it.
I would like to call these moments ‘opportunities of present-peacefulness.’ It was not that I was necessarily happy in that moment, but I was at peace with what was happening around me and within me. I was not reliving a past event or projecting a future happening. I was simply there and, in that presence, there is peace. It is hard enough to live in the moment without PTSD in the mix. I contend that we could all benefit from paying attention to opportunities of present-peacefulness.
For me, I am going to try to pay more attention to these opportunities and write about them more. I think they are both evidence and fruit of my healing. The dogs definitely give me the opportunity to practice everyday, since they are experts at living in the present.
I am grateful to have come this far in my journey of healing. While it is hard to say that I am grateful for the traumatic event that caused my PTSD, I am grateful for the perspective it affords me to give thanks for the little things that sometimes go unnoticed.